Are we missing out by not knowing our own dialects?

I REFER to the article “Foolish to advocate the learning of dialects.” published in The Straits Times on 7 March 2009.

There is no denial that Singapore has achieved much progress with our bilingual education. It has allowed us to attract international investors, and one of the fore-runners to do business with China, one of the most populated country in the world, if not Asia.

While there are many who gave up on the learning of Chinese totally and focus on just one language, there are also a number who went on to pick up a third language. There are also some who could speak third languages but not their own dialect.

Though there are a number of students who are able to handle both languages, there are many children who struggle with the languages in school. When it comes to the crunch, parents will advocate learning only “useful” languages that will help one in the future, like English, as that is the main medium for our education, and ignore Mandarin, as it is too difficult. Has the learning of languages been delegated to just passing examinations?

Many parents start speaking to their children in English at a young age, and even grandparents will put their best effort to learn a splattering of English in order to converse with their grandchildren. Is there still room for Dialects?

The Chinese in Singapore has to grapple with the issue of identity more than their Indian and Malay counterparts. We no longer speak our own dialects for one, and many of our traditions and cultures are inter-linked with our dialects. Every dialect group has its own unique culture and tradition, such as the Cantonese must always buy a pair of shorts on the 3rd day of Chinese New Year, and the Teo Chew likes porridge with fish.

When I explained to foreigners about the short history of Singapore, and that most of us are second or third generation Singaporeans, one of the common questions that I have to answer was which provinces in China were my ancestors from. It actually reflects badly on as being ignorant and rootless when I was not able to answer the question. I am sure the same would apply to an Indian if he/she does know which state he/she originated from.

The change in the learning of dialects is also a reflection of the change in society. Some may not have anyone in the family who could speak the dialect, some may not be spending enough time with the grandparents for them to pick up the dialects, grandparents are picking up English/Mandarin to communicate with the kids, hence . not using Dialect at home. It is more important for children to practise the important language such as English rather than to learn Dialect.

Without a doubt, as far as the policy goes, we are first Singaporeans, then Chinese, and later on our personal Dialect group. There is no room for dialect in our education policy. However, is there still a room for dialects in our family education?

Why Parents are the Best Babysitters

There is a Chinese saying “that having a grandparent in the family is like having a gem in the house.” There is no perfect solution to any issue, one always have to weigh the pros and cons of every solution.It was a common fallacy that grandparents may not be very well-versed in hygiene when looking after the babies. The other very common complaint is that grandparents have a habit of feeding the grandchildren with unhealthy tit-bits. Parents also complain that grandparents are illiterate and may not be able to groom their children right from the start.While grandparents may not know how to operate the sterilizer, they know how to boil the bottles to sterilizer them. While grandparents may not be able to teach the children from a young age, they are able to teach them life lessons in many ways and they are best nannies you can ever ask for.1) Firstly, the love that the grandparents have for children is immense. All grandparents will always be happy to have a young one around and are usually quite tolerant towards them.2) Secondly, grandparents having gone through life experiences, and also able to share these experiences with them.3) Thirdly, the grandparents would be the best person to impart the culture and traditions of the family to the children. They are usually the ones who have the time and commitment to impart the traditions to the children.4) Most importantly, the child has a more rounded view of life living with their grandparents, and understanding the importance of planning for old age and taking care of their health now. This will help them to be more prepared when they grow old.5) A child who has the opportunity to practice patience and care towards the old folks now, will learn to be more empathetic and patient towards others. Such lessons in life are invaluable.Having said that, it would be helpful to just take note of a few things when your grandparent is your nanny.1) Ensure that the medication is kept away from the children.2) Ensure that there is a corner to put away the toys, so that the grandparent do not trip over the toys.3) Practise with the grandparent any new items that you get for the child, such as a stroller or a car seat.4) Advise the grandparent not to carry the child for long distance but to use a stroller to avoid injuries.5) Plan simple games or educational cds for the grandparents to play with the children if necessary.6) Never forget to say thank you to the grandparent as the love and patience they have for the children is immeasurable, and the trust that you have that your kids are in safe hands is worth more than anything else.

Parenting Tips from The Little Nonya

The biggest hit of the year Little Nonya took Singapore by storm, and the show promised to be a classic detailing the culture and traditions of the Nonyas and the Babas. For a metropolitan country like Singapore, who is shedding her layers of culture and traditions under the name of development, the story holds many parenting tips for us.

Firstly, both the characters - Juxiang and Yueniang, who were victimized by the step-sisters and step mother, obviously captured the attention of the Chen-Xi’s Ah Chou (grandmother) because of their excellent culinary skills as well as fine beadwork. The young daughters of the rich family were obviously on the losing end despite having studies overseas. This leads to an interesting question that a parent may wonder: What skill sets would I like my child, specifically girls, to acquire?

Girls in the 21st century Singapore have similar opportunities as guys to go to school and climb the corporate ladder. The role of the ladies is no longer delegated to the kitchen and the family. Parents in Singapore do think that it is as important for girls as it is for boys to study hard and get good results. Most parents enrolled their children in swimming and piano lessons, rather than getting them to help out with the household chores since there is always the maid. Should children learn and help out with the household chores?

Household chores have been delegated to the maid to do the cleaning and the washing. Many maids in Singapore are able to whip up a good meal compared to the young girls and at times the wives. As a result, many traditional recipes, culinary skills as well as culture are not passed down to the daughters or daughter-in-laws but to the maids. With her culinary skills, Yueniang went on to open a Nonya restaurant. Just as some maids have who returned to their homeland to run their own restaurants. Is it important for children to learn their traditional cultures including their language and to cook their tradinal dishes?

Secondly, Meiyu was the sweetest girl among the three sisters of their generation. She was not born spiteful and was never in favour of her sisters bullying Juxiang. Though she was angry with Juxiang for gaining her husband’s heart, it never crossed her mind to murder Juxiang. Meiyu became more unscrupulous only after her mother forced her to throw Juxiang overboard. She attempted to kill again when she stopped Zhenzhu from rescuing Yueniang. For someone who was angry with her mother for forcing her to lie about her own handiwork, she also advised Zhenzhu to do the same subsequently. What has caused her to change her value system?

Similarly, though Zhenzhu was spoilt, she did realise that it was wrong to leave Yueniang in the well and did attempt to rescue her. She could have rescued her own sister from being raped but held back when she remembered her aunt’s words. She took credit for the dishes that she didn’t cook without any guilt. She suffered the consequences of her own decisions when her deeds were discovered. Weren’t Meiyu and Zhenzhu victims of a value system that was clearly passed down from their grandmother Tuaji? (acted by Lin Mei Jiao)

Have we been angry with our children for being rude towards us and shouting at us? Are we angry with our kids for being disorganized and not motivated? Have we consciously or subconsciously being inculcating values in our children that we might regret later as well?Are we also giving out children undue pressure that may make them make the wrong decision. The parent and child relationship is unique. The child always looks up to everything that the parents do. Hence the children are the best mirrors of our selves, and of the people they hang out with. They are like a huge sponge that soaked up everything they see around them. Their value system is simple. The action has to be right if everyone, especially if my parents are doing the same thing.